Old Fashioned Bourbon Cocktail

My second favorite cocktail is the Old Fashioned. It would be my first favorite, except that they're kind of a pain to make. There is some speculation that the Old Fashioned is the original cocktail -- the cocktail the early colonists drank after a hard day of whatever it was they did to piss off practically everyone on college campuses today. I love cocktails that have a backstory like this; it almost makes it seem like you are communing with history; not just knocking back a shot of whisky with some sweet stuff to help it on its way.

So this is my Old Fashioned recipe. It's probably a bit pared down from the normal recipes. I like what I like, and I don't like to wait (c.f. my Manhattan recipe where you dump it all in a glass and stir it with your finger).

Cocktail Zero's Old Fashioned

• In a pretty glass, throw in a sugar cube and douse it with Angostura Bitters. Then throw in an orange slice. Throw in a maraschino cherry if you're making it for a woman; women love the cherries.


• Smash it all up with a muddler or a big spoon or something.


• Put in some ice cubes. Cover the ice cubes with bourbon.


• Stir it all up; add a little still water to taste.


• Do not add soda water; I think it makes the drink taste awful.

It's amazing how the sugar and the bitters take all the edge off the bourbon. I can drink 2 or 3 of these and it doesn't feel like you are drinking until you notice your brain feels like someone switched off the back half.

I hate New York but I love the Manhattan

Real men drink brown liquor. The Manhattan is my go-to drink because you can make one with the ingredients in most airport lounges. Airport lounges tend to sell a lot of white wine, beer, and the occasional vodka tonic; but you can't get anything complicated. Don't order a cocktail that requires fresh citrus or muddling. The bartender might be game and give it a shot, but it will be disappointing and you won't be able to hide it. So don't make yourself and the bartender unhappy; stick to what they can do.

So if it's not a serious cocktail bar, I order a Manhattan. It's so simple that a kid can make it. Put some ice in a shaker, 2-3 parts bourbon (rye if I'm in Canada), 1 part sweet vermouth, dash of bitters. Shake and pour. If I'm lazy I'll just put the ice and booze in a glass and stir it with my finger. Some days that's exactly the Manhattan you want.

Then after a hard day, you take the first sip. After that first sip, I like to say what I always say after the first sip after a hard day: That's more f*cking like it.